Armed with two $20 gift certificates courtesy of Messy's gym (they have a delicious referral program!), we headed up the street to Joe Pesce, wondering what two non-fish eaters would find on the menu. We must begin this review with a major disclaimer: we don't like fish. We only went to this fish restaurant because we had the coupons. Joe Pesce may very well have the absolute best fish in the universe, but we couldn't tell you. We can only write this review from the perspective of non-fish eaters. So please take it with a huge grain of sea salt.

Our friendly host immediately seated us in an almost empty dining room where we were greeted by some freakishly long silverware. Pesce's dining room decor is all over the place: large stone slab fragment frescoes, mixed texture seating, wooden slat screens and opaque blue water glasses which servers couldn't possibly be able to see through and tell whether or not a diner needs a refill. Our server passed our table over at least eight times through the course of our dinner leaving Picky quite annoyed (he drinks a lot of water).

Pesce is on the higher end of mid-range restaurants with entrees topping out just under $29, with some market price items and daily specials sure to push the ceiling up a bit more. Picky was intrigued at the "market price" listing of lamb chops - he'd never seen that before.

Messy's large mozzarella and tomato stack ($10) was a nice and generous portion. From the menu:

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Fresh Basil Drizzle & Balsamic Reduction

It was generous, and the pesto dressing was tasty, but the tomatoes and mozzarella just weren't that great. Granted, tomatoes are not in season, and that could account for some of their mealiness, but you can great mouth-watering mozzarella at Claudio's year-round, so there is really no excuse for the overall blandness of this appetizer.

Picky's sausage and broccoli rabe ($18) plate was a nice enough portion served in a gracefully bending rectangular dish. From the menu:

Sweet Sausage & Broccoli Rabe Sautéed in Olive Oil & Garlic tossed with Cavatelli Pasta

The dish was dusted with Parmesan with no extra in sight. Unfortunately, the flavor didn't match the size of the dish. The sausage tasted more like simple breakfast links and the whole dish was underwhelming and dry. The dryness of the dish was only compounded by the servers repeatedly walking past our table without refilling our water glasses. Picky didn't bother asking for extra Parm.

While there were a good amount of non-fish options for Picky to choose from, there were no vegetarian options listed further than the salad section of the menu. Yes, we realize we went to a restaurant specializing in fish dishes, but we've gone to similar eateries and come away with wonderful experiences; see, for example: Kisso and Morimoto.

We finished off our meal with a splurge of two desserts to share. On the left is a chocolate lava cake and at right, a tiramisu. If these two items are on a dessert list, it's a safe bet to say we're going to get them. These were pretty yummy — nothing to write home about, but not disappointing, either.

We're obviously not Joe Pesce's target demographic. But we gave the eatery a shot and they didn't seem to want our palate there. Such is life.

Messy *1/2
Picky * 1/2

The final word: You'll probably want to order the fish.

Joe Pesce Restaurant
1113 Walnut St
Philadelphia, PA 19107
(215) 829-4400
Mon - Thur 4pm-10pm
Fri Sat: 4pm-11pm
Sun: 3pm-9pm